You have created a real relationship with the other, you have been corresponding for weeks or even months via the internal messaging of a dating site or via chat. You laugh, dream, discover the other, you experience a magical moment, the one that precedes the total state of love.
Now we will have to meet
The crucial step, the one you imagined together, laughingly extrapolating what your reactions would be, has soon arrived. Stress mounts. Even if your chosen one has already seen a photo of you, you are no longer completely sure of his/her reaction when he/she sees you. You look at yourself in the mirror from every angle, you think about that scar on your leg that you haven’t talked about or that damn cold that comes at the worst time.
However, you know that you are reaching a point of no return; beyond this limit, impatience could win out and end up completely tiring of the person you have been coveting for so long.
Nothing is planned as you imagined
The meeting has arrived, the stress is at its peak. Should I kiss him on the mouth to break the ice or should I distance myself and observe… This will be your anxiety of the moment, the famous first seconds of the meeting, you have exchanged so much, talked so much about yourself that it would be normal to act as if you were in a relationship. Please note, this is not yet the case.
You have already made videos but when you see him/her, you do not completely recognize him/her, it is his/her twin brother or sister! De-dramatize right away. The other is in the same situation as you.
Advice for meeting
Smile! Relax, say that you are happy to finally meet her/him.
Prepare in advance
The right method, I think so, is to prepare for the meeting together. Even plan your discussion in advance. To give each of you a small gift, no surprise, this one will have been imagined by both of you. Basically, you need something in common to talk about. The effect of love at first sight, classical music ringing and lips calling for a kiss is possible, but plan for it not to happen like that. An object or a conversation that allows you to deflect the stress effect of looking into each other’s eyes will have the quality of calming you both and relaxing the atmosphere. Plan a place where you can be quiet for a few hours.
The other is always different
Even if you think you know the other person by heart and even if he or she has confided important parts of his or her privacy to you, this person is a physical stranger to you. His looks, his way of moving, the smell of his perfume will be discovered, your senses will have to tame them.
My first IRL dating experience
For my part, I met a girl many years ago through the internet. At the time, I had an accident on the public road, 4 broken vertebrae… This girl whose nickname was Loulou came to see me in the hospital. I wasn’t in the best conditions to seduce her in real life, you can imagine… But I was touched by her gesture, an hour and a half by RER to come see me… My best friend was there, he had come to pick me up by car to take me take me home… He had been in a relationship for several years already… Do you feel the outcome coming? She fell for him…
My friend didn’t care, but there you go, you never know the person opposite even if you’ve been talking for months. I had maintained an easy flirtation, it seemed to work, but I had never really talked about myself, a fan of 19th century poetry, the beat generation, Asian films, she knew nothing about it… So it’s a mirage that she came to see: a suitor… not me in my entirety. But thinking about it, I think that if she had really known me, she wouldn’t have moved… Don’t be the representation of the other’s fantasy, this will prevent you from wasting a nice person’s time and incidentally …to save gas for your friend who didn’t ask for anything.
Ps: The mistake not to make is bringing a third person with you… Yes, yes… there are some who do it… Even without knowing it…
