1. when you literally have no idea which guy is in the group photo you’re dragging and the guy only has group photos. “Is he the guy in the red?” » Man, I hope so. I would go out with him. I wouldn’t want to date any of these other people though. Hmm, but if I swipe left, I’ll never meet Red Shirt Guy. Fiiiiine, I’m going to swipe right. Oh cool, I matched with one of, like, 20 people.
2. When a friend of your guy comes on Tinder and you don’t know which way to swipe. “I could slide right in as in, “Hey, person I’m friends with!” Haha, we are sure Tinder! but he wouldn’t know that’s why I’m swiping right and I might think I’m inside him. Which, I mean, I kind of am, but I’m not ready to talk about it with him yet. I’ll just swipe left and pray he never saw me.
3. When you see someone from Tinder in real life. ” Oh my God! » I saw this person on Tinder! Whether or not you swipe left or right, it’s a reminder that people on Tinder are real, which is just too weird to think about.
4. When your ex shows up on Tinder. “haha, he’s still single. » Of course he is! But also, I wonder if he stung me right. Damn, now I need to swipe it right to see if he did it. It didn’t really slide me right??? Who cares, it sucks anyway.
5. when you can’t tell whether or not the girl in all his photos is his current girlfriend. “OK, so he has a photo of himself with a girl. ” Not big. Maybe she’s a friend. Oh wow, this girl is in all his photos. Maybe she’s an ex? But even if she is, why is he obsessed with his ex??? “It’s upsetting. »
7. when you’re somewhere and start mentally swiping people left and right. You know you’ve been on Tinder too long when you’re on the subway and you look at everyone and mouth “left” and “right” because people don’t even seem real anymore and everything is a game.
8. Waking up to see all the late night drunk matches you regret swiping right on. “Jesus, I thought the guy was hot?” » I need to not be on my phone at 3 A.M. ever again. Besides, now I have to block him or it’s going to be a big deal.
9. When you start trying to find a profile picture that perfectly encapsulates what it’s like to date you. It can’t be done, but we’ll always try.
10. When you didn’t think his voice would sound like that. And her real-life voice isn’t bad or anything, but you didn’t expect her to sound so…that.
11. When you try to find a photo that makes you look like a normal woman’s man. And not some weirdo cave-dweller with barely visible features because every bar you go to has horrible lighting and you don’t get any other photos.
12. When you re-edit your “about me” for the millionth time. OH! I forgot to say that I like sledding. Guys like sledding right?
13. When you’re trying to come up with a phrase that shows you’re smart, funny, strong, responsible, and good in bed. “does this mean girls quote accomplish that? » Hey, I’ll give it a shot.
14. When you try to analyze the one sentence he used to describe himself. “anchor quote. ” Hmm. a guy with a great sense of humor or he’s just trying to get laid and it’s the least amount of effort he could put into it without leaving it blank.
15. when you show up on a Tinder date and by some miracle it’s actually nice and you like it. Wait, he didn’t say anything sexist, he looks as hot as he does in his photos, and we definitely have chemistry. What the fuck is going on???
